Making Friends is Good for Your Health
In our ‘How to Transition to a Wanderlust Lifestyle’ blog post, we talk briefly about building community as a full-time RVer. We think it’s such an important topic that we listed it under the “Health and Wellness” category on our transition plan.
Don’t have that plan yet and want it? Click here.
This post goes deeper into how to make friends as a full-time RVer.
Where is Everybody?
When we left our jobs, home, friends and family, we anticipated meeting all kinds of interesting people while traveling. We had visions of salty, old-timey RVers, regaling us with stories of yesteryear—the belly-dancing artist traveling with her four cats, or the uber-liberal family living in a vintage bus off the grid (oh wait, we actually did meet them). I think this idyllic view made saying “goodbye” to our loved ones feel less depressing.
Sadly, only the crickets greeted us whenever we pulled into a new RV park. Sure, we waved at the family across the way, or chatted with the neighbors from time to time, but it wasn’t the fantasy we had created. These were normal people enjoying their vacations. They were there to relax and spend time together, not meet some dopey, wide-eyed, new full-time RVers. We were the weird ones with our foolish tale of leaving everything behind to RV full-time. Seriously, who does that?
It turns out that a heck of a lot of people trade in the “real world” for the “wheel world,” we just weren’t looking in the right places. We went months without forming meaningful friendships because we didn’t know where or how to look.
Over time however, we have found various ways to make friends on the road. If you are a little intimidated about making friends as a full-time RVer, rest assured that friendships can form with these three easy steps: Go, Get, Give.
Go to RV Events
The Xscapers convergence changed everything. You can read the full story here. Not only did we meet new and interesting people, we made lifelong friends. After that event, we went to the RV Entrepreneur Summit, and we’re planning on more Xscapers convergences in the future.
We went from zero to sixty in a matter of a few weeks. Now, we know more RVers than non-RVers, and many with stories way better than the traveling cat-lady. We have built relationships with real people, with whom we can share our lives, laugh, and even cry.
There are so many different RV events, yet somehow we found them by accident. But it doesn’t have to be that way. If you start researching now you’ll find events that cater to everyone: families, solo RVers, people with dogs, etc. Don’t skip this step, especially if you are new to RVing. It will help you build relationships early, which is important to offset the times that you may feel lonely while traveling.
The RV Entrepreneur Summit Attendees. Photo cred: Joe Hendricks
Get Online
Full-time RVing (or y’know—life in general) can be lonely at times, and there will be moments when you really, painfully miss your friends and family. Sure, you can call them, text them etc., but they don’t totally relate to what you are doing. That along with not meeting new people, can leave you feeling isolated.
Social media can help you shore up the lonely times. You are likely already using social media, but are you using it to its full potential to build relationships?
I communicate with others fairly regularly whether on Facebook, Instagram, direct messaging, etc. Before I was a nomad, I found social media a bit tedious. All those photos of what people ate for dinner just didn’t do it for me. I rarely posted and mostly consumed other people’s content. Now I use social media primarily for relationship building. I reach out to people, comment on their content, share ideas, and give advice (only when asked of course). It can be time consuming and you have to find the balance between spending time online and living life. But if relationships are important to you, then staying connected online is a good approach.
In a future post, I’ll dig deeper into the uses of social media, including how to optimize it for networking, growing your business, and creating income opportunities.
Give First to Others
Ok, I was trying to be cute here with Go, Get, Give, and couldn’t find a better ‘G’ word. What I mean by ‘give first to others’ is to take the first step in putting yourself out there. When you see people at campgrounds, wave to them first, say “Hello,” and engage them in conversation.
Reach out to people online. This happened on the Fourth of July, when I saw that Rachel and John from Nomaditagain were in the same area. I reached out to see if they wanted to meet “IRL” (in real life). We met them for a drink and they invited us to the ranch where they were work camping. We bottle fed a calf and gathered fresh chicken eggs; the whole thing was just magical.
I can hear you saying, “But I’m an introvert. That’s really uncomfortable for me.” I get it, me too. People don’t think that about me because I put myself out there all the time. They think it’s easy for me to meet others, but it’s actually awkward for me to make the first move in creating relationships.
Here’s the irony though, many full-time RVers are introverts. It’s the perfect lifestyle for an introvert because you have tons of alone time and can be around people when you want. However, there aren’t many people to be around if everyone is shy about saying “Hello.” So put yourself out there, give first to others, and you will be embraced by a warm and welcoming community.
If it makes you feel more comfortable, start with us. Shoot us an email and say “Hello.” Click here.
Some of the Relationships We’ve Built
Now the fun part of this post. We want to introduce you to some of our RV friends. First, let me say that I know many, super-cool RVers. If I included them all, this would be an exceptionally long post. I chose the following folks because I chat with them regularly, enjoy the content they share, and think they are great people to get to know.
You Had Me at Meow Wolf
Do you remember the movie Bill and Ted’s Excellent Adventure, Part 2? They meet their future selves and have a mind-blowing experience. There are two Teds and two Bills saying, “Dude, dude, no way, excellent,” over and over. That’s what it was like meeting William (Bill) and Porter. We were standing around at an event when Bill, Bryce and I started a surface level chat. Then Bill said the magic words, “Meow Wolf.” “Oh. My. God. We LOVE Meow Wolf,” I screeched. Porter, a few steps away, overheard those words and shrieked, “Meow Wolf y’all!” Before you knew it, we were all shrieking “Meow Wolf” at each other in a spontaneous eruption of joy.
Porter and William
We hung out for hours, drinking beer, and laughing our asses off. We have a TON in common with them, including Porter and I with similar backgrounds in corporate education. Bill takes amazing photos that perfectly capture the light, moment, and vibe of a place. You can check out his photography page here and follow their journey at Trinkles on Tour.
Thor’s Well, William Trinkle Photography
Side note: you must got to Meow Wolf in Santa Fe, New Mexico. It’s a 20,000 square foot immersive art complex, and dude, it’s the most excellent, mind-blowing thing ever.
Man’s Search For Meaning
Have you ever read Viktor Frankl’s, Man’s Search for Meaning? It’s a deeply philosophical story of psychological triumph. That’s what hanging out with Maury Robertson is like, except with a spiritual element. Maury’s story of trying to beat back his former “Pastor Maury” identity is riveting. Plus, he’s funny and easy to be around. He is bravely transparent about his journey which you can follow here on his AnchorPoint Facebook page. You will be moved by his daily inspiration videos.
Maury and Julie jumping for joy at the RVE Summit. Photo cred: Joe Hendricks.
Julie is Maury’s wife and foil. She’s a ray of sunshine with a warm heart and sarcastic zingers for Maury (when deserved). We can talk with them about everything from the meaning of life, to new and exotic flavors of ice cream. Check out their blog Wandering Peregrino.
The Unicorn of RV Entrepreneurs
I saw Liz Wilcox at the RVE Summit, for about a minute. I don’t think I made much of an impression on her, but she made an impression on me in her oversized American flag sweater, square framed glasses, and quirky personality. She continues to make an impression through her inspiring journey of working to fulfill her full-time RV dreams. She’s eager to get herself, daughter, and husband on the road after he gets out of the military. I had an inkling that Liz and I would work well together, so I reached out, and we’ve been collaborating ever since.
I call Liz the “Unicorn of the RV Entrepreneur World” (that’s a Silicon Valley reference by the way). She built a blog, Liz Wilcox’s Virtual Campground and already wrote an ebook, Tales From the Black Tank: A Collection of Hilariously Crappy RV Stories. It’s for sale here and I even have a story included in it! Thank you in advance if you purchase the book, as I will make a percentage of the sale. You will thank me for side-splitting, deep-belly laughs from these dark RV tales. Check out her website too.
Liz Wilcox’s, Tales From the Black Tank. You can see that Liz has a passion for Black Tanks.
There you have it, a few of our RV friends whom we met at events, through social media and by reaching out.
Go. Get. Give.
I encourage you to build relationships on your journey, and by journey, I don’t just mean in an RV, I mean in life. It doesn’t matter if it’s an RV, apartment, house or elsewhere, relationships are critical no matter where you live. The longer I’m on the road, the more I realize that the most important things in life, more important than anything else, are the people you love and the ones who love you back. So if you go to events, get online, and give first to others, you will always have a friend to share a story with by the campfire—even if it’s virtual.
Next Time
This brings up another topic for next time: how do you maintain relationships with your friends and family back home? Stay tuned for the post about how I couldn’t have picked a worse year to hit the road.
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Great article. I have had some of the same thoughts about people in this lifestyle. We are in our first workkamping experience and have met some great new friends!
Hi Mary Ann-We have yet to “workamp” ourselves and we’re thinking that maybe a farm or ranch would suit us better. I would imagine that we’d meet even more people if that way too. Hope to meet up with you on the road!
Well written Camille! You have taken the time to get to know me online (Gina, someday!). I am an introvert at first until I get to know someone. I suppose meeting online is less intimidating. You have been there to answer every question whether on FB or email and I appreciate it.
Camille is right, sometimes you have to take the first step. We’ve struck up conversations with couples on the way to the beach with our gear in hand. One couple use to volunteer for a specific non-profit and they shared about how they got involved and how we could too.
The RV community is an incredible group of givers. It sort of reminds me of what our neighborhoods looked like thirty years ago, when we had block parties, left our windows up at night, and our doors unlocked, etc. Well………maybe we don’t leave the doors unlocked anymore.
Thank you Camille!
Hey Greg-thank you so much for the review! It’s been great interacting with you online and learning about your blog and RV journey. I look forward to more conversations, and hopefully meeting in person one day!
Thanks for the fun and informative post . Will pass on and continue following you as you adventure further into the RV experience.
Thanks for the input Ann! We appreciate the follow and sharing too 🙂
The hardest part for me is initiating the conversation. I’m afraid I may go to one of these events and still be alone in the crowd. I’m trying to get to know some folks a little through social media so when we meet in person it will be a little easier.
Hey Julie I totally understand that feeling. I get overwhelmed in crowds. I prefer one-on-one conversations for sure. Funny enough a large number of people who went to the RV Entrepreneur Summit all said the same thing, that they were shy or intimidated to meet others. By the end we were all mostly friends. It’s good to know that everyone generally feels the same way 🙂
Great tips!! Social media has definitely helped us make friends while RVing. Helps break the ice since you have already “met”. 🙂 Can’t wait to meet up on the road!
Yeah Jessica and ironically you and only met recently on social media. How did that happen? Totally looking forward to meeting up with you and meeting your family soon.
I LOVE this, Camille! You such a blast of life and light out there in fulltime RV Land. Julie and I will do our best to take this to heart. Establishing relationships on the road has been the hardest part of the journey for us. We need to work on it. We’ve got to learn to follow your lead and “give.” You really do model this. Most people only want to tell you about what they are doing (I’m guilty of this!) You listen. So refreshing! Hope to see you down the road soon!
Hey Maury – you give more than you realize. You too are a great listener, and you genuinely care about others. Thanks for the listening compliments. I only do that with people I really like though :).
Good post, Camille. We were too overwhelmed our first trip out to worry about socializing, but it’s something I’ve been concerned about. Yeah, another introvert here 🙂 I appreciate the ideas you shared & hope we’ll cross paths IRL before long.
Hey Teresa-I too hope we cross paths. I know you online so would love to meet up in person!
My husband and I are new to RVing and have met some nice people. We follow blogs also. Some of the Escapees activities are out of our price or location range. We are not Eacapers but Escapees, and we would love to meet lots of Escapers. Sure hope to find a nice place in Quartzite. It’s a big place and we don’t want to intrude.
Hey Judy you should consider coming to the Quartzite Convergence in January. It’s free! If you go let me know and we can meet in person.
We definitely relate to a lot of this. Neither of us are the type to walk up to people we don’t know and start chatting. What’s worked for us has been Instagram. We’ve met up with several people we follow after finding ourselves in the same places as them and we’ve had really good experiences with that. The nice thing is we know something about them before we meet, and being RVers, there’s a ton to talk about, at least for the first meet-up. Whether or not there’s more to talk about down the line just depends, but the initial meet up is always easy. And, like you said, it’s important to be willing to put yourself out there. I have definitely become more comfortable with reaching out first. When I see someone we’re friends with on Instagram in our area, I just drop them a direct message and ask if they want to grab a beer. Most everyone is up for it (I think most RVers are up for meeting other RVers) and so far, it’s been great. The downside is everyone is always going off in different directions, so when we’ve met really great people, we’ve had to accept the reality that it may be 6 months or a year before we see them again, but that’s just part of the deal. Anyway, nice article….
Hi Laura – thank for reading the article! I agree that Instagram has been the best tool for meeting people online and in person. It is sad when everyone scatters off to their next destination, but I find that many of us often congregate in the same area based on weather. As we head into year 2 of full-timing, I might start organizing more meet ups on Facebook.
thanks for this article, its a much needed read. also thanks for the friend request on FB which led me here. i Hope to see you at the next Xscapers event….maybe this Jan 2018?
check out my youtube channel “traveling with the gramkracker” and follow our adventure…..we will be following you now!
Hi Cindy – that’s great! We’d love to meet at the Xscapers convergence in 2018! I am so behind on YouTube but getting ready to re-launch in the fall, so will definitely check out your channel.